WET HANDS
Johnny, my friend, told me an amusing story. He just walked out of a restroom and a friend recognized him. “Johnny!” she called and held her hand out to him. Johnny warmly took her hand and squeezed it. She grimaced, pulled her hand back and shook it. She said, “Johnny, you didn’t dry your hands after you washed.”
Straight faced, Johnny teased, “I didn’t wash them.” The woman looked appalled. She held up her hand, wondering what to do next. Johnny winked, grinned slyly, and confessed, “I did wash them.” The two laughed.
The story illustrates a good point. On the surface it may appear trivial, but it tells a great deal about Johnny’s friend. She obviously has a positive outlook on life. Her simple expectation that Johnny’s hands were wet from not drying indicates a deep trust. It didn’t even occur to her that an unthinkable body fluid soiled his hands. Her positive outlook manifested itself in innocence. Positive outlooks reside in innocence and trust.
On the other hand, if after feeling the moisture she immediately became suspicious, then that indicates a more negative outlook. Again, it may seem trivial, but it’s our reaction to trivial events which most clearly shows our nature. It’s when our guard is down that our natural tendencies most easily manifest.
Innocence flows naturally from an innocent mind. Conversely, suspicion easily spawns in a mind which reeks of suspicion. Hence, noticing those little, seeming trivial, emotions coloring our lives reveals a lot about our character. Of course, this requires living in the now and paying attention to what’s going on in the moment. That’s pretty much a prerequisite for true emotional and spiritual growth. Once we sharpen our ability at observation, we can then make real progress in leaps and bounds.
Notice what reactions well up in the quiet spaces when little events occur. Do you react with calm and trust? Or, do you feel the slow creep of anxiety crawling up your back from your tailbone. Wanton anxiety is a sign of fear. Approaching life from a base of fear sets into motion a string of misfortune that gains momentum. It takes on a life of its own and becomes as impossible to stop as a speeding locomotive.
Notice the small reactions while they are small. At that stage they are manageable. When you feel anxious, remember that all fear serves a purpose to protect. But, make a conscious decision if the fear of protection is worth the cost of what it is you’re protecting yourself from. You can easily fall into the trap of being overprotective and become paralyzed into inaction. When this occurs you become the victim of circumstances spiraling out of control.
If you experience rising fear and want to change your approach, then seize the opportunity when it presents itself. Accept that fear is a natural and useful tool, but recognize it is only a tool. Fear is only one of many tools in our toolkit.
Think of the options available to you when fear arises and consider their possible consequences. Then choose the course of action with the highest potential for a good outcome. Repeatedly practicing this eventually shifts our habits away from fear and back into the realm of calmness. Calmness begets calmness. It becomes the natural tendency.
And if you shake the wet hand of someone who just walked out of a restroom, give that person the benefit of the doubt. One sure fire way to take the bite out of that particular fear is to just carry a tube of hand sanitizer. With practice, we can learn to coexist with fear.
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